I Scream, You Scream

When I was just weeks shy of three years old, I was hanging around the house with my mom doing the stuff that toddlers do, I guess. It was mid-morning on a warm spring day and I was bored and tired of playing with whatever age acceptable toys had been placed in front of me. My mom must have been focused on my sisters at the time – one was older and the other younger than I – because she didn’t notice at first that I’d made an all-important decision to find something else to do. I’d always preferred to be with my dad and that day was no different. Dads always did the cool stuff and I wanted to do cool stuff with my dad instead of the usual toddler stuff. I knew he was at work and lucky for me, his work was right next door. So I decided I was going to go to work.

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Meeting The Surgeon

So, let’s talk about surgery. I had known for many years – decades actually – that I wanted to have top surgery. I had no clue that was what it was called, though, due to my lack of knowledge around transitioning. I did know the definition of mastectomy and knew that having one would be key to me feeling more “male.” Despite knowing this, I spent many years not even knowing that I could have a surgery for this reason. I’d only heard about women having mastectomies for cancer or whatever medical reason made it necessary. As much as I wanted to have surgery, I didn’t know you could just do it because you wanted to do it. I’d never heard of top surgery or gender affirmation surgery or even the word transgender.

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Don’t Fence Me In

Young trans boys want the same things as any other boys growing up. I was no different. I liked being outside and getting dirty and I wouldn’t be surprised if I’d have broken records for wearing through the knees of my jeans. I’m pretty sure I mastered that challenge with a record time of less than two weeks to wear holes in at least one of the knees. Oh, and the patches that my mom sewed on them usually “fell off” in even less time than that! Everyone knows that cowboys do not wear patches on their jeans!

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