Morning – or what would pass as morning as early as it was
– came quickly. The plan was to be on the road between 2:30 and 3:00 am. We
would be on the highway and well on our way before most people were even
thinking about getting out of bed for the day. There would be no morning coffee
or breakfast for me since I’d been given strict orders for nothing after
midnight in preparation for the surgery.
So, let’s talk about surgery. I had known for many years –
decades actually – that I wanted to have top surgery. I had no clue that was
what it was called, though, due to my lack of knowledge around transitioning. I
did know the definition of mastectomy and knew that having one would be key to
me feeling more “male.” Despite knowing this, I spent many years not even
knowing that I could have a surgery for this reason. I’d only heard about women
having mastectomies for cancer or whatever medical reason made it necessary. As
much as I wanted to have surgery, I didn’t know you could just do it because
you wanted to do it. I’d never heard of top surgery or gender affirmation
surgery or even the word transgender.